A New Chapter | Why Am I In Grad School?

Over the last eight months, I’ve been busting my ass and exhausting myself. In February, I got a front desk job at an architecture and design firm. In April, after a few months of deciding, I applied for graduate school and picked up another job. I felt like my skills and my degree wasn’t enough for the jobs I wanted to apply to and therefore, I couldn’t wait for the perfect position. I needed to make enough money to try and help my mom out, as well as having a couple bucks in my pocket.

When I was a kid, I said I wanted to go to grad school but when I graduated with my Bachelor’s, the idea of acquiring more student loans sent me into a panic. Was I willing to pay off more debt for something that was optional? My friends were encouraging me to go through with it and my professor told me that the program I chose was a good one. So once I sent off my application, that was it, it was written in stone that I would go to grad school. All I had to do was wait for the school’s decision which was just as nerve-wracking as it was when I applied to schools for my undergrad.

I got in.

I wondered, how was I going to balance it all? Two jobs—barely any days off, the possibility of moving, still working on my weight-loss journey, now school… Did I really want to go through all of this pressure again? Would this help me to solidify whatever career choice I choose? Will I even have enough time to do my homework?

Eventually, those questions fell to the wayside once the semester began. Whatever fears that I have are still there, but I’ve been taking it day by day. I’m stressed out as hell, picked up even more work at my second job, and I’m trying to add more weight training…but I’m surviving.

Besides, gaining an increase in salary once I receive my Master’s, I still have no clue why I’m in grad school, but I hope to figure it out soon…